The littlest Seattleite

Ted’s a maniac when it comes to coffee. I gave him the tiniest taste of my hemp-milk decaf a while back, and he’s been obsessed with “mommy’s drink” ever since. 

That’s his “I just smelled some coffee and mommy won’t give it to me” meltdown face.

He must be getting that from his daddy, because I used to hate coffee as a child, and only started drinking it when DH got me hooked on that most delicious of gateway drugs, mocha.

Part of my hatred might have come from having grown up in communist Poland. Coffee shortages were pretty bad, so some resourceful a**hole created an instant (though caffeine-free) substitute. It was called Inka, tasted pretty close to the real thing, and for some unfathomable reason became the go-to children’s drink for mothers nationwide. Heck, it was even served at hospitals. With every. frikking. meal.

I thought that ghastly thing expired with the regime, but no such luck. Worse still, it seems to have followed me across the water. There I was, happily traipsing through the aisles of my local PCC store, when I stumbled across this:

Inka coffee substitute(photo by momphotographer)

My jaw dropped. I was in a store priding itself on choosing the best and the healthiest. And they stocked this?! I stood there for a short while, just staring. Then, I grabbed a can.

If Ted’s so fixated on having coffee, who am I to deny him:

From screaming, waterworks-on banshee to a purring kitten in less than a second. He doesn’t have to know that he’s just downed 4oz of coffee-flavored breastmilk. (And there I was, worrying I would have to pour the stash down the drain. Gotcha!)

P.S. I have spoken to Ted’s pediatrician first. It’s all good. There’s no need to call Child Protective Services just yet. 

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